"I don't need you. I can do this all by myself"

The modern day woman. It seems the majority of them have had 'home and family' bred right out of them.

You ever get the feeling you're just good for the paycheck? Easily replaceable? Not really needed?

Let me share with you the attitude you really should be having. How about that attitude toward the little child who says, "I can do it all by myself" only to flub it all up and go crying to their room. Ashamed to admit, they really couldn't do it.

Sure your wife could take care of the children, bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan. I mean, she's almost doing all that already, even with your paycheck. But let her try that month after month, with no moral support and no partner around. Watch what happens when the car goes on the blink and her paycheck barely covers the bills, as it is. And when she comes down with the same flu, the kids came down with and she's trying to take care of them when she, herself, wants to run for the toilet. What then?

Will her attitude change then? Oh yes but will she admit it.

You can take this from a middle aged woman who has had to do it all. Some the easy way, some the hardest way. Women are not the tower of strength they so hope the world will see them to be. It starts showing up when the stress starts attacking from all sides. Men are made to cope with these things, women are not.

I can hear the arguments now. I've heard them all my life. Does that change my mind, when I see years of proof of what I say? This isn't opinion talking. This is wisdom. That woman can accomplish amazing things, just as long as you're still within sight. It's the man, who provides the strength in the family. Even if he does absolutely nothing! His mere presence and attitude, anchor the family.

It doesn't take much to lead the family. It has very little to do with demands and all the world to do with the calm presence of the man. Calm, steadfast and strong. There's your ingredients.

When your wife gets the attitude that you are of no use, all you have to do is stop being there for her. Eventually, she will have to admit there IS a use for you. :

When she says, "The kids are driving me crazy", instead of offering sympathy and help, offer her a stout, "What do you want me to do about it?" See if you don't see the difference in her reaction. Offering help, is being the partner. The latter is a total flake out. Think she might appreciate the differences?

If you're having troubles like this, this is what you do. Sit down for a serious talk. Here are the rules. One talks the other listens and then you switch roles. While one is talking, the other cannot interrupt.

If you truly are a man and truly want a solid family that has a true goal, truly wanting to work together as a team to provide a peaceful home, then I'm talking to you.  If not, forget it and why are you here?

You see, a body with two legs can go forward. A body with one leg can still go forward but at a much slower pace. A body with two right legs is going to accomplish much of nothing.  Just like a football team, everybody has their job and it all works together. That's what a family is.

You can call me a liar but there's no way around the fact that the male skeleton has one less rib, than the female skeleton. That's a scientific fact. I can prove my point, many other ways but to get directly into the subject: men are created for one job and women are created for another, both complimenting the other. Together, they are one. Together, they go forward.

Couples that stop going forward, stop working as a team, go to the divorce courts because they can't overcome the frustrations. They know they have a problem, they know the symptoms but they can't boil it down to the disease and they give up. The disease? Two right legs.

Men are created with upper body strength, while women have lower body strength. Let a man try to carry a laundry basket on his hip. It doesn't fit.  Men are created with an all 'outward' emotion, while women have an all 'inward' emotion.  A man spends his life with an outbound force and attitude. A woman spends her life with a inbound power.

What that means is, the man is designed to handle stress from outside the home while the woman is designed to handle stress within the home. Even the body, testifies to this. The male organs are forward, while the female organs are contained within.

Since even in business, attention is paid to the bank account while at the same time, going out into the world to bring into the bank account. It takes both, to accomplish business and succeed. If everyone in the business just sat and tended the bank account, there would be no bank account. The same for the sales force. If the whole business spent all it's time in the world bringing in the money, there would still be no money because there's nobody tending the bank account. Where would it go?

The family is certainly as important as business and if run the same way, there would be no divorce.

I personally, don't believe in mother's working outside the home. Why? Because she has to become a man in her heart of heart's to be able to do this job switch. A man is not a nurturer. The woman is.

So while she feels she could do it all herself, she's asking to be both man and woman. Now that's a tiresome scene. That makes a body old before its time.

In a proper marriage, you work together as a team. The man working outside the home and coming home to rest. The woman rests, off and on all day, between jobs. Sounds pretty balanced, to me. So she has to do all the housework. I don't understand the big deal. Unless, of course woman have forgotten the routine of keeping the house up, so that there never is a huge clean up job.

Some men wield a hammer all day long. Some talk on that phone all day. Whichever it is, it's just as tiring as vacuuming, so I don't understand the woman whining about no help with the housework, when she doesn't have to work anywhere else. One job is just as tiring as the other.

I see no harm in him helping with the dishes until the kids are old enough to take over that job. But then when the kids are old enough, why should dad have to help? The kids have just as much responsibility in the home as the adults. Everybody has their role to play. I see no reason for grumbling about it.

The family with a home, furnishings and food, has no call to complain. If that family complains, they should be required to live in a shack, with not enough food and no money for soap, if that's what it takes to make them understand the wealth they have.

Considering that the man is actually the strong one in the family, it is he who needs to be the most gentle. A true man doesn't have to prove it. And if his wife thinks she is walking all over him, manipulating him and getting her way, it's just proof that the man is doing his job right. It's the man who instills fear in his wife and children, who is failing. Strength does not look like might, it looks like a rock. The best way I know of, to keep a wife happy and content, is to gain her respect.

Think about this: it's easy to respect a rock, not so easy to respect a fire cracker. What a woman respects, she loves. What she loves, she leans on. What she leans on, she keeps.

Making a woman cry, is not building respect. In fact, it's doing the opposite. Remember that one. It's your strength that carries the ball, not your demands. Demands just drive people away.

So that talk, I was telling you about? It's what I've been telling you in these past paragraphs.  Is your wife unhappy about the amount of money the family has? She needs to learn content. Anyone can learn to live within their means. What is she looking for in life? Bright lights? Party time? Settle it right now. Lay it on the line. Does she want a healthy home? Or does she want to throw it all away. If she wants to throw all that away, stop trying to build a family with that woman. If you think this hurts now, just wait a few more years and see what she can do to you. Don't put yourself through that. There's a good woman waiting.

If she realizes what she's been threatening and wants to have a happy home, then you have something to talk about. Do you really need 2 incomes or could you have a smaller home and survive on 1? If there are children, she has no business trying to be both male and female, holding down an outside job plus the one at home.

If there are no children yet, then what would you work toward? Two incomes can save money a lot faster than one.

Make the deal, write it down and then stick to it. Your job, her job, where are you going, where do you want to be 5 years from now. If you're both working outside the home, then you're both also working in the home and that means sharing the housework. If just the man is working outside the home then her job IS the home and that needs to be clarified.

If you're still having trouble, share with her what I've told you here. There's no getting around true facts. Men and women are NOT the same.

Just as a silly side note, have you ever tried the chair lift? Place a light weight chair against the wall. First let the woman try this. Stand with the knees against the chair, lean forward until you're holding your weight against the wall with your head. Now grab the chair by both sides and try to stand straight up, while still holding the chair and lifting it. A woman can, a man cannot. Why? Because of your skeletal structure and the balance of your body strength.

The man's power is in his arms and upper body. The woman's power is in her hips and legs. Now tell me that isn't a perfect team.

So the next time your wife is 'throwing her weight around', and seemingly bossing the household, just remember who it is who has the true strength in the family. Isn't that enough to give you peace? Isn't that enough to feel like a rock? You don't have to jump just because your wife demands it. You just have to know how to reverse the command with a gentle and loving voice.

Try it, next time. She, "Come here". You, "I have an idea. (with a wink and a smile) How about you come over here." (while patting your knee) Just like that, you've become the rock. Loving your wife is showing her your strength, in the face of anything.

"Why can't you help me with the dishes?" "Come here, hon. Sit down with me. Why are you in such a fury to get the dishes done? You deserve to relax a little, too". That's being the rock. "I work all day and damn if I'm going to go home and do your work for you". That is being a bully and a failure.